I know, you really want it Mom

Dear mom,

Last night I called you, we talked much about what I should do after my graduation day. I told you about my planning to apply a scholarship to study abroad before, but then I was thinking about my life. Should I always be your burden, or I have to growth up and start to stand alone without your help. I’ve been thinking about this, since a month ago or exactly when my lecturer said that I have already graduated.

Mom,

Frankly, from the deepest of my heart I really want to continue my study, get my master degree then work in United Nation to help people around the world, bridging their life to be better. But, you know, I do not want you to work hard anymore, just to give me a better life. You have done much for me, and I have not given you what I should give to you. I know, from all of your children, you really proud of me. When you pray to God, you pray for me first, and then the others. You always talk to other people that you really proud of me. That’s why I always do my best in everything and wish all of that will create a new prize for you, called happiness.

But mom,

I’m just an ordinary human. I have lived about 21 years, I growth up mom, I am not a girl anymore, I am a woman now. As a woman, I don’t wanna live from yours, I wanna live from my own money, I wanna work, mom. 21 years is enough to be a burden for you. But, what you said make me confuse; you really want me to get the scholarship and study abroad. When I heard your voice such that thing, I know you don’t care about my excuses, you just want me to continue my study.

I don’t know, does it still my obsession now? Or it has already yours… I know you want the best for me, you want me to someone that she really proud of, yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

Mom, you know me… I never wanna regret you, never even just a bit… in the end whatever, whatever you want me to do, I’ll do it for you mom, but not for marriage. It’s just the only thing that I don’t want anyone get involve about it in my life. I love you mom, yesterday, today, now, this moment, tomorrow, in the future, and in another place where God will placed us there forever.